Episode 2: An Oasis Of Connection For After the Election

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or anywhere.

We're ready for Election Day. But are we ready for the day after?

Political news has everyone on edge. If they win, we're in trouble. If we win, we still have to deal with them. So we retreat to our bunkers, turn on noise canceling and wait for someone else to fix it. The bad news is that nobody is coming. The good news is that nobody needs to.

In this episode, Joshua Johnson gets you ready for this year's post-election stress. He starts with Halloween and a confession that he's a lifelong fraidy cat. Haunted houses turn out to be a good way to understand difficult conversations, because both use our survival instincts against us. Then he looks at the "post-election hangover" that has kept families apart and soured workplaces since 2016. He draws on a tense but successful panel he moderated at the Aspen Ideas Festival, where liberals and conservatives talked politics over drinks. From there he lays out a simple plan for protecting the places that keep you sane: your bowling league, your project team, your family table. If you're dreading the next few weeks, this episode gives you a way to set boundaries without burning bridges.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why your fear in a conflict is a feature, not a flaw, and how to stop judging yourself for it
• How to spot the sensory cues people use to provoke you, like a raised voice, someone getting in your space or wide eyes
• What makes a place an "oasis," and how to name its "source," the value it can't do without
• Why expecting everyone to agree (the "mirage") leaves you defenseless instead of safe
• Four steps to protect your oasis after the election: map it, let the wind blow, share custody of the source, and carry your own canteen
• Word-for-word examples of how to steer a political tangent back on track at work or at the bowling alley without starting a fight

Chapters

• 00:00 – Ready for the day after?
• 00:58 – One thing you can use today: surviving haunted houses
• 02:39 – Tip #1: Remind yourself it's just a show
• 03:50 – Tip #2: Don't judge your fear
• 05:26 – Sidebar: Alfred Hitchcock on why we love a good scare
• 06:40 – Tip #3: Bring earplugs (and notice sensory cues)
• 08:15 – Owning your emotions doesn't make you weak
• 10:15 – Something scarier than Halloween: Election Day
• 11:04 – Bonds remain broken after the 2016 election
• 13:20 – A lesson from the Aspen Ideas Festival
• 15:39 – Altitude sickness: carry your own oxygen
• 18:04 – Find your oasis and its source
• 20:08 – The trap of the mirage
• 22:23 – Step 1: Map your oasis
• 23:06 – Step 2: Let the wind blow
• 24:16 – Step 3: Share custody of the source
• 24:32 – 2 examples of how to respond to outbursts
• 27:13 – Step 4: Carry your own canteen
• 28:50 – Building on the idea of your "lodge" from Episode 1
• 29:48 – What is the oasis at your lodge? (Tell me in the comments!)
• 33:15 – The source of Joshua's oasis: hospitality
• 34:14 – Closing

Key quotes

• "Bad news: nobody is coming. Good news: nobody needs to."
• "Remember that terror is not a bug; it's a feature. Your brain's number one job is your safety."
• "Being emotionally mature doesn't mean pretending you have no impulses."
• "There is no unanimity in the human race… If you are expecting this lofty ideal, it actually doesn't make you safer. It makes you defenseless."

Links

Alfred Hitchcock on why we go to scary movies
Website & Speaking Inquiries: https://joshuajohnson.me
Email: joshua@joshuajohnson.me
Social Media @joshualistening (Everywhere except TikTok)
"Idiots Are Everywhere" TED Talk
Buy me a protein shake 😊 (online tip jar)