How to Throw A Midterm Debate Party
Watch with friends, or host your own debate
I take politics seriously, but you can be serious without being grim. When I was on-air I always tried to relate information credibly without making things scarier than they were. Something about knowing that my audience included people who love me softened my approach, if only to make them worry about me less.
Softer approaches in hard times may seem crazy, but there’s a reason so many Americans have tuned out of the process, leaving the most extreme wings of the major parties to run everything. Candidate debates are hit and miss these days — Donald Trump’s antics sullied their reputation even further — but they still have their place. Perhaps more people should watch them together.
Why not throw a party?
In this video I explain how to do it, whether you’re watching a televised debate or debating the issues yourself using my game, The Resolution. And no, I’m not kidding! Mature, kind, thoughtful people need to get together and discuss things that matter, especially if they differ on how to handle our biggest challenges. Partisanship thrives on driving us apart. I can think of no better disruptor than bringing ourselves together… preferably over dessert. (BYOB, of course.)
Give it a try. Let me know in the comments how it goes or if you need advice on how to make it work.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Timestamp: 00:00
Midterm election debates are getting harder to find, but we still need ways to weigh our options. Maybe you don't trust the candidates to argue thoughtfully or respectfully, but could you do it? Let's throw a debate party. We are just over a month away from the 2026 midterms, with control of Congress on the line and 39 governor's races affecting roughly 80% of Americans. You would hope debates would be everywhere, but they're not. Do I trust most candidates to have an honest, productive discussion? I wish. Do I trust you to do it? Yes, I really do. Hosting a debate party—either to watch a televised debate or debate the issues yourselves—turns grinding political consumption into a shared, connected experience.
Timestamp: 01:30
The first objection is obvious: debates are tense, and tension ruins a party. But anyone who thinks that has never played Monopoly or Settlers of Catan. Plenty of party games are intense, yet people keep playing them. The key is finding folks who know it’s just a game and focusing on playing together rather than winning. Second, you don't have to pretend to agree with policies you hate; instead, use steelmanning. Build up your opponent’s perspective to its strongest possible version so you can find real flaws and improve your own arguments. Third, it doesn't have to be a heavy marathon. You can start with simple issues, like whether airlines should ban reclining seats or whether households should ban smartphones at the dinner table.
Timestamp: 03:00
If everyone in your circle already votes the same way, remember that you all have people in your lives who don't think like you. A supportive group is the best place to practice advocating for what you believe and dealing with opposition before taking those conversations out into the world. When planning the gathering, make the invitation clear: this is a break from midterm insanity, and the goal is connecting with people you trust. Make sure to serve refreshments. When we did live shows for 1A Across America, we learned that people need to break bread to break the ice. It keeps the environment feeling hospitable and human.
Timestamp: 04:30
Keep the hospitality simple: make it BYOB if people want a drink to loosen up, provide light bites and non-alcoholic options, and stick to instrumental background music like jazz, house, or downtempo so lyrics don't distract or introduce unintended controversy. Skip forced icebreakers. You, the host, are the icebreaker. Greet everyone at the door, get them a refreshment, and introduce them to someone new with a conversation starter. Your job isn't to force them to like each other, but to help them discover each other.
Timestamp: 06:00
If you're watching a debate, open doors 30 to 45 minutes before airtime. Provide paper pads and pens for notes instead of phones to reduce digital distractions. State your intention up front: to enjoy good conversations with good people, to spar with folks who make you smarter, and to unpack reactions afterward over dessert. Clarify the stakes early: no one will listen to your ideas if you make yourself unpleasant to hear. Setting that standard encourages the entire room to take responsibility for maintaining a constructive tone.
Timestamp: 07:30
If you want to debate the issues directly, a structured game format keeps things safe and balanced. In a roleplaying setup, matches can run 20, 40, or 60 minutes, and everyone gets a role. You can have advocates arguing the positions, a moderator running the timer and keeping order, judges deciding the round, and an audience representing the community affected by the decision. People can argue their own beliefs or adopt a persona—an executive, an activist, or a council member—which removes personal ego from the clash.
Timestamp: 09:00
Topics should always be framed as active resolutions dealing with what to do rather than passive opinions about what to think. Debating whether a city should approve zoning for new data centers forces pragmatic trade-offs, whereas debating whether data centers are "bad" leads nowhere. Focusing on action forces both sides to reckon with real-world implementation, consequences, and compromise.
Timestamp: 10:30
Suppose things get overheated and people start bickering. The first rule is: slow everything down. Arguments accelerate fast, so don't feed the speed. Intervene quickly, but be slow to speak. Take an audible breath, let the room see you de-escalate, and hold silence for three full seconds to reset the room's attention. Instead of reprimanding the combatants, ask the room a question: "Can we all take a deep breath?" or "Could someone grab these two a glass of water?" Using sensory cues like breathing, silence, and water enlists the whole room in cooling the temperature.
Timestamp: 12:00
From there, ask collaborative questions: "How can we help you resolve this?" or "Should the three of us step aside so the game can continue?" Remember, you always have the right to protect your space and end the gathering if necessary. Your home is not a political battlefield. Start with a thoughtful guest list, gauge comfort levels ahead of time, and prioritize mutual respect.
Timestamp: 13:30
In a democracy, your individual voice and vote carry immense weight—that's why so much energy is spent trying to influence or suppress it. Participating thoughtfully honors the people who came before you and protects those who follow. Debating with connection rather than contempt is a skill we can practice and master, starting with the conversations we choose to host in our own living rooms.
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 - The Decline of Public Debates
- 0:50 - Why Host a Debate Party?
- 1:40 - Overcoming the Three Big Objections (Fun, Partisanship & Scope)
- 4:10 - Planning the Gathering: Invitations, Refreshments & Music
- 5:38 - Why You Are the Icebreaker
- 6:30 - Structuring the Agenda & Setting Ground Rules
- 8:22 - Debating Each Other: How to Use “The Resolution”
- 9:30 - Channel Update: Transitioning Away from Substack
- 10:45 - De-Escalation Tactics: What to Do If Things Overheat
- 12:47 - Protecting Your Space & The Stakes of Midterm Democracy
- 14:10 - “Your Best Take” Keynote & Wrap-Up
HIGHLIGHTS
00:01:27 — How Can You Make Debating Politics at a Gathering Actually Fun?
The first and most obvious issue is: maybe this just does not sound like fun. Debates are tense, and tension ruins a party. Is a debate party even possible? Anyone who thinks it’s impossible has never played Monopoly or Settlers of Catan. Plenty of party games are really intense, and yet people keep playing them.
The key is to find the right group of people—folks who know that it’s just a game—and to focus on the experience of playing together, not on winning. That prevents things from feeling too personal. Meaningful debate shows you where your own point of view needs to improve in order to win. You can use steelmanning: instead of making a flimsy straw man of an opposing view, you build up your opponent’s perspective to its strongest possible version so you can find actual flaws and make your own case better.
00:06:05 — What Is the Best Way to Set the Tone as a Host Without Awkward Icebreakers?
Icebreakers—I’m not a fan. I’ve rarely encountered an icebreaker that did not feel forced. The best way to make people feel welcome and encourage them to talk to one another is simply to welcome them and introduce them to one another. You, the host, are the icebreaker. Greet everyone who arrives, bring them a drink, point them to the refreshments, and introduce everyone to at least one person they don’t already know with a conversation starter. Remember, it’s not your job to make people like each other; just help them discover each other.
Then, it is vital that you state your intention for the evening. If I were you, my intention would be to enjoy good conversations with good people, just like any other party. It’s healthy to spar with people who can make you smarter and who can score points without gloating. Back when I moderated 1A Across America, the way we made the audience responsible for their own behavior was to clarify the stakes: no one will listen if you make yourself unpleasant to hear. Once people get that, the atmosphere shifts.
00:09:15 — How Do Roleplaying and Active Topics Make Debates Productive?
The beauty of roleplaying debate is that you can debate your own views as yourself, or you can take on a persona. Suppose your topic was: We resolve that the city of Townsburg should approve zoning for new data centers. The "yes" advocate might roleplay as an executive from the tech company, while the "no" advocate might be a local activist. The judges might portray members of the town council, and the audience can play residents living with the decision.
One caveat: topics must always be framed as active statements. The goal is to debate how to deal with issues, not just what to think of them. A topic like We resolve that data centers are bad won’t help anyone think through what to do. Structuring the resolution around action forces people into pragmatic trade-offs rather than abstract ideological posturing.
00:11:06 — What Practical Steps De-Escalate an Argument When Things Get Overheated?
If people start bickering or things get overheated, the first step is to slow everything down. Arguments tend to spiral out of control fast, so don’t feed that speed. Intervene quickly, but be slow to speak. Once you’ve gotten the attention of whoever is involved, take a breath out loud. Let everyone see you breathe as a sign of de-escalation, and then remain silent for three full seconds. Silence is a powerful way of focusing people’s attention.
The next thing you say sets the tone for everything. Try to pose a question rather than making a criticism, but don't just target the combatants. Ask the room: "Could we all take a deep breath together?" or "Would someone grab these two a glass of water?" Engage the entire room in calming things down through sensory cues—silence, breathing, water—so you don't have to act like an isolated traffic cop. Then ask: "How can we help you resolve this?" or "Should the three of us discuss this privately so the game can continue?"
PLAYLIST LINKS
PRE-EVENT MUSIC (Apple Music | Spotify)
POST-EVENT MUSIC (Apple Music | Spotify)
10 LOW-STAKES DEBATE TOPICS
"We resolve that..."
1. Movie theaters should ban the sale of popcorn.
2. Employers should eliminate annual performance reviews.
3. Restaurants should replace paper menus with digital QR codes.
4. Public transit agencies should eliminate all passenger fares.
5. Airlines should prohibit passengers from reclining their seats.
6. Social media platforms should hide users' follower counts.
7. Cities should ban grocery store self-checkout stations.
8. Households should ban smartphones at the dinner table.
9. Professional sports leagues should eliminate instant replay.
10. Hotels should make daily housekeeping optional.
